What comes to mind for you when you hear the word self-compassion?
For most people, when we hear the word COMPASSION, we see this as a positive and even commendable quality.
However, when we hear the word SELF-COMPASSION, a lot of us tend to equate this with being self-absorbed, having self-pity, self-centeredness, or even being narcissistic.
So what does self-compassion really mean?
Self-compassion involves treating yourself the way you would treat a friend. This is most especially true when you are going through tough times or experiencing challenges.
Self-compassion involves three core elements, namely:
- Self-Kindness: Speaking and thinking kindly of oneself
- Common Humanity: Recognizing that we are all humans & make mistakes
- Mindfulness: Being aware of the present moment.
It's important to continuously spread the message of the importance of self-compassion. One way to do so is by debunking the common myths around it.
Here are the five common myths of self-compassion:
“Self-compassion is a form of self-pity.”
Self-compassion does not mean wallowing in your sadness. People who are more self-compassionate are better able to take life’s difficulties as they come. This is because they keep things in perspective and see challenges as just that - challenges.
“Self-compassion means weakness.”
It is far from being a weakness. According to studies, self-compassion is one of the most important aspects of coping. It strengthens one's resilience and mental health.
“Self-compassion is narcissistic.”
Self-compassion is different from being self-absorbed. A person who is self-compassionate knows how to honor the fact that we all have strengths and weaknesses. He/she understands that we are not our accomplishments or failures.
“Self-compassion will make me complacent.”
We think that self-compassion means letting ourselves off the hook. In reality, self-compassion motivates us to be more proactive. It gives us the courage to take more risks.
“Self-compassion is selfish.”
Being self-compassionate and taking good care of ourselves helps us fill our cup. This sustains us to be able to show up as our best selves for others.
THE BOTTOM LINE:
Sometimes we speak to ourselves so harshly in the name of productivity - the concept that the harder we are on ourselves, the more results we deliver. This can be an attractive mirage but it only ends up with us feeling tired, beaten down, overworked, and with low-self esteem.
Productivity and rest go hand in hand, as do healing and compassion. If we spoke to our friends the same way that we sometimes speak to ourselves, we'd probably jump to their defense!
Here are our tips to practice self-compassion.
- Re-evaluate your self-talk
- Forgive yourself
- Embrace Failure
- Practice Gratitude
- Spend time doing things you love
So show yourself the same kindness today that you would show to those you most love - and maybe the space of understanding that you create will allow space for you to grow into the goals that you have set. ⠀
Self-compassion is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves. Throughout this wild and wonderful journey of life, let's always remember to be kind to ourselves.
